(GoHealthier.com) – Comforting people is one way to help them, but so is finding the solutions to their problems. Sometimes, though, we choose one option without asking which option the person wants. That can lead to arguments. Asking just one specific question reduces the chances of arguing and may make communication easier.
The Importance of Communication
Communicating with others is valuable and vital. It’s how we get information and also how we convey information to others. But people don’t always understand or recognize how to adequately and successfully communicate with other people.
That can lead to misunderstandings and a feeling of not being heard. In many cases, it can also lead to arguments. Working on communication may reduce the number of disagreements people have.
People See the World Differently
One reason that communication is problematic is that no two people see the world exactly the same way. Even if they share very similar opinions and beliefs, they still have differences. For example, one person may like dogs, and the other person prefers cats.
That could lead to a friendly debate about which animal is a better pet. It could also lead to an argument if those people are trying to live together and can’t agree on which pet to have in their lives. Understanding that people see things differently matters for good communication.
Respecting the Needs of Others
When there are difficult communication areas, such as expressing needs and wants, respect goes a very long way. We should always respect others’ needs and listen to understand instead of only listening to respond.
If one person in a relationship — any kind, not just romantic — isn’t getting their needs met and doesn’t feel respected, they may choose to end that relationship. Often, the other person doesn’t even realize how they made the person feel due to a lack of communication. That creates avoidable arguments.
The One Question That Matters
The one question (and arguably, the only question) that matters is this: do you want comfort or solutions? Asking another person what they want in that situation implies that we care about what they need from us in that moment. That can open the door to quality communication and diffuse a lot of argument potential.
While there’s no realistic way to avoid the potential for every argument, asking about wants and needs is one of the best ways to reduce conflict. By asking someone we care about if they want solutions to their problem or comfort for its difficulty, we’re showing that we hear them and meet them where they are.
That one question may make all the difference for them and improve the relationship’s quality by reducing the chances of arguing when an uncomfortable or problematic situation arises. It may be just the thing a loved one needs.
~Here’s to a Healthier Life!
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