(GoHealthier.com)
It’s that time of year again when family members gather around the Thanksgiving table; often, not everyone has the same political views. These political divisions can cause awkward, if not straight-up, angry moments, which can taint the entire mood of the Holiday. But is it possible to have calm and productive political discussions in these polarized times? The US has been through several periods of political divide like the Civil War, Jim Crow, The Great Depression and New Deal, and the Civil Rights movement and Vietnam Era, but social media and the 24-hour news cycle create a seemingly inescapable feed of divisive opinions and vitriolic sentiments about the other party. So, is a peaceful and productive political conversation plausible? It is possible, but it requires some mindfulness and planning. Here are some strategies:
1. Set the Tone
• Start with Respect: Acknowledge the importance of hearing different perspectives. Express your intent to understand, not argue.
• Be Calm: Enter the conversation with a relaxed mindset, avoiding confrontational energy.
• Agree on Ground Rules: If the topic is sensitive, establish mutual respect and agree to avoid personal attacks.
2. Listen Actively
• Focus on Understanding: Listen to understand the other person’s point of view rather than thinking about your rebuttal.
• Ask Clarifying Questions: For example, “What makes you feel that way?” or “Can you explain your perspective further?”
• Paraphrase: Repeat back what you hear to show you’re engaged, e.g., “So, what I hear you saying is…”
3. Express Yourself Clearly
• Use “I” Statements: Avoid sounding accusatory by framing opinions with “I think” or “I feel” rather than “You are wrong.”
• Provide Evidence: Back up your points with facts, but avoid overwhelming the conversation with data. Be prepared to discuss the reliability of sources.
• Stay Open: Acknowledge when you don’t know something or when the other person makes a good point.
4. Focus on Shared Values
• Find Common Ground: Identify values you both care about, such as fairness, safety, or opportunity, to build a foundation for discussion.
• Avoid Extremes: Keep the conversation centered on practical ideas rather than polarizing or theoretical arguments.
5. Know When to Pause
• Watch for Escalation: Suggest taking a break and revisiting the topic later if the discussion becomes heated.
• Respect Boundaries: Some people may prefer not to discuss politics at all. Be willing to let it go.
6. Reflect and Learn
• Ask for Feedback: At the end, ask how the other person felt about the conversation. This helps improve future discussions.
• Acknowledge Growth: Appreciate the opportunity to learn from the exchange, even if no agreement is reached.
Practicing these skills over time can help create meaningful, respectful, and enlightening political conversations. However, even if you cannot manage to have a civil political conversation with your family, try to remember all the other reasons that you love them.
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